Masculinity Crisis: Psychological Insights for Boys and Men- Dr. Yedidya Levy
Updated: Sep 19
By Yedidya (Didi) Levy
Boys and men are struggling in the United States on a variety of different metrics. Below are a few recent findings highlighted by Richard Reeves.
· Women are 15 percentage points more likely than men to complete a bachelor’s degree.
· Men’s wages are lower today than they were in 1979.
· Nearly 25% of children grow up in a home without a father.
· Men account for almost three out of four “deaths of despair” (suicide or overdose).
These finding are widely agreed upon, but there’s significant debate regarding why and what to do about it.
Factors Impacting Men
Societal changes might be contributing to these poor outcomes among men in the United States. Below are several hypotheses requiring further development and research, as well as suggestions for psychotherapists.
· Anti-masculine attitudes: Although it’s politically incorrect to assert, masculinity is in part biologically determined (Polderman et al., 2018). Personality traits closely associated with masculinity (including competitiveness, risk-taking, aggression, and protectiveness) have become anathema in certain prominent political circles. The “absence” of masculinity in the political conversation, is symptomatic of a cultural devaluing of masculinity which contributes to shame and inadequacy for men collectively (Reeves, 2022). This can even take the form of a kind of anti-male shaming, which can push men toward aggression, anxiety, depression, and cycles of internalized shame (DiMuccio & Knowles, 2023; Tangney & Dearing, 2003). A culture of anti-masculinity can also generate divisive and dangerous expressions of masculinity, further perpetuating anti-masculine attitudes (Maricourt & Burrel, 2022). The last decade’s sociocultural dialogue around the prominence of the “manosphere,” “redpill,” and “incel” communities highlights this paradigm.
· Absent and abusive fathers: Nearly 1 in 4 children grow up without a father in their home (U.S. Census Bureau, 2023). Research has found that boys growing up without a father are at greater risk of a range of poor outcomes, including poverty, behavioral problems, infant mortality, incarceration, criminal conviction, abuse, addiction, obesity, and school dropout (Farrell & Gray, 2018). Without an adequately present father, boys are missing an essential model of healthy masculinity. Additionally, an absent or abusive father can contribute to intense feelings of rage. This rage is often internalized as depression, hopelessness, despair, and impulsivity; other times it’s externalized. The individual psychological consequences and societal risks generated by conflicted father-son relationships is foundational to modern psychology, and their significance is reflected in foundational case studies dating back to Freud and the myths highlighted by Jung.
· Absence of initiation: Adolescence marks a biological and psychological sea change in human beings. For thousands of years, this change was welcomed through communal ritual. Initiations marked a child’s metamorphosis into adulthood (Eliade, 1958). Puberty rites and rituals of initiation were almost always gendered and offered the adolescent a sense of meaning and purpose related to their gender. Boys were initiated into roles that helped in the formation of personal identity and made meaning of their gender. These roles were often born out of necessity, communicating to the initiates that they had a part to play in the preservation of their community. Individualism, secularism, safetyism, and anti-masculinity all contribute to a culture in which communal ritual for boys is a rarity. Without initiation, moments of communal identity formation as it relates to gender are lacking.
What Therapists Can Do
What can psychotherapists do to raise awareness culturally and improve the psychotherapeutic treatment of men?
· Generating positive models of masculinity: Psychotherapists can play a crucial role in supporting healthy and pro-social expressions of masculinity. By inviting clients to explore their expression of masculinity without judgment, clinicians can reduce shame and facilitate change in alignment with their clients' values and predispositions. Male therapists can help men recognize and challenge harmful stereotypes and societal pressures that might be contributing to their presenting issues. When masculinity is explored without bias, male clients feel less threatened and will be more receptive to the development of key therapeutic factors like relationality, empathy, emotional intelligence, and resilience.
· Celebrating fatherhood: Psychotherapists can play a pivotal role in supporting fathers and promoting their involvement in their children's lives. Fathers have a unique role in the family, and they need to be valued and engaged in ways that feel authentic to who they are—not emasculated or fake versions of themselves. Clinicians can also help sons better understand and interact with their fathers. In therapy, sons and fathers can explore their fears, expectations, and societal pressures related to their roles, allowing them to develop a healthier self-concept and curiosity around the possibilities of a father-son relationship. Group therapy sessions can also create a supportive community for fathers to share experiences and learn from one another; reinforcing the importance of their presence and active participation in their children's lives. Through these efforts, psychotherapists can facilitate a model of fatherhood that benefits both fathers and their families. Psychotherapists can also do more to communicate the beauty and importance of the father-son dyad in the current sociocultural moment.
· Supporting male-only spaces: Psychotherapists can support the existence of male-only spaces by recognizing and validating the unique needs and experiences of men inside and outside the psychotherapy context. By facilitating group sessions exclusively for men, therapists allow for an environment where men can discuss contentious or socially taboo issues related to their experience and expression of gender. These spaces allow men to explore their emotions, challenges, and personal growth in ways that are more difficult in mixed-gender settings. Ultimately, these spaces offer men an opportunity for introspection, solidarity, and personal development that can enhance their overall well-being and contribute positively to their male identity, as well as their roles in family and society.
Conclusion
Anti-masculine attitudes, the absence of fathers, and the loss of initiation each contribute to the struggle boys and men are having in forming a healthy sense of male identity. These factors correlate with increased deaths of despair among men, lower rates of college education, and extreme expressions of masculinity (Reeves, 2022). Psychotherapists can make a difference by changing the sociocultural dialogue around masculinity and embracing aspects of masculinity in the context of psychotherapy. Fathers and fatherhood have both been long theorized to be vital contributors to male identity. Psychotherapists have a role to play in-session and beyond regarding revitalizing the father-son dyad and educating people about its significance. Finally, male-only spaces, like process groups, can offer men a source of support, validation, and shame-reduction.
References
DiMuccio, S. H., & Knowles, E. D. (2023). Something to prove? Manhood threats increase political aggression among liberal men. Sex Roles, 88(5), 240-267. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-023-01349-x
Eliade, Mircea. (1958). Rites and symbols of initiation: The mysteries of birth and rebirth (First Published). New York: Harper Torchbooks
Farrell, W., & Gray, J. (2018). The boy crisis: Why our boys are struggling and what we can do about it. BenBella Books.
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Maricourt, C. D., & Burrell, S. R. (2022). # MeToo or# MenToo? Expressions of backlash and masculinity politics in the# MeToo era. The Journal of Men’s Studies, 30(1), 49-69. https://doi.org/10.1177/10608265211035794
Polderman, T. J. C., Kreukels, B. P. C., Irwig, M. S., Beach, L., Chan, Y. M., Derks, E. M., Esteva, I., Ehrenfeld, J., Heijer, M. D., Posthuma, D., Raynor, L., Tishelman, A., Davis, L. K., & International Gender Diversity Genomics Consortium (2018). The Biological Contributions to Gender Identity and Gender Diversity: Bringing Data to the Table. Behavior genetics, 48(2), 95–108. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10519-018-9889-z
Reeves, R. V. (2022). Of boys and men: Why the modern male is struggling, why it matters, and what to do about it. Brookings Institution Press.
Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2003). Shame and guilt. Guilford Press.
U.S. Census Bureau. (2023). Families and living arrangements: 2023. U.S. Department of Commerce. https://www.census.gov/topics/families/families-and-living-arrangements.html
Watzlawik, M. (2009). When a man thinks he has female traits constructing femininity and masculinity: Methodological potentials and limitations. Integrative Psychological and Behavioral Science, 43, 126-137. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12124-008-9085-4
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